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(July 2009)

Jack turned three over the weekend. Happy and sad about that. I am beginning to see a light at the end of a very deep, dark, 7 years long, baby tunnel that I've been trying to navigate. The fog is lifting- and even though I am a much lighter sleeper than I used to be, at least I am sleeping through most nights. No bottles. No pacifiers. Not even a diaper bag anymore. All of my kids can feed themselves, drink from a cup, turn on the television, and sit through Sacrament Meeting without "snacks".

I even golfed with Aaron last weekend for the first time in a LONG TIME. No belly to get in the way. No baby to hurry home to. No nap schedule to plan around. It was freedom with a 3 wood and a happy husband for 18 holes. And it was good times.

But, in all honesty, that light at the end of the tunnel is a little bit sad for me. Because it means no more snuggly, late night feedings. It means I pack away those tiny onesies and soft baby quilts forever. It means babyhood- although demanding, it's also magical- and it's over for this Mom.

Let's talk about golf again ... while the tears dry. Should I take lessons?

Perspective- Jack is only three. And three is still little, and cute, and fun, and innocent. I love to watch him try to keep up with his brothers. I love to watch him try to help his dad fix the bathroom sink. I love it when he sits on my lap, and plays with my (short) hair, and tells me "I wuv your hair". He is tough, but he is tender. He is a monster, and then he is a sweetheart. He loves a good wrench, and a good, tasty watermelon. And I want to memorize every part of every day of his three year old life. Because I know that in twenty years, or two, I will want to relive these days.

Because it's good to be three. And it's also good to golf again.


brooke said…
Seriously--why am I crying right now? I want my baby to be three and to go golfing with my husband. But you're right, the baby years are magical. Jack Jack was so incredibly cute the other day. He is still so little-but yet sat with the big kids and fed himself--that's huge. I'm jealous and sad and not sure what to do.
Katie D. said…
Just wait til he's potty-trained! That will be an UH-mazing day! :) It's sad but think of all of the fun trips and memories you will make now that the kids are all older. Also, I will totally take golf lessons with you!
Ashley said…
I love it that you golf. That would probably be a really good move for me to make for my marriage--but you're right, there is no sense in doing anything like that with babies! I am already really torn about having my babies grow up and I'm not even done having them. I don't know whether to push through or draw it out. Anyway, I hope the next stage is deliriously wonderful and that you don't miss the baby stage too much.
Alifinale said…
How do you get by with no snacks in sacrament? Emery's 3 1/2 and still needs snacks (or I need her to need snacks.)

Happy Birthday Jack. He is too cute.
Sara said…
No snacks in Sacrament? What's the secret. Both my kids are still bribed with snacks.
AzĂșcar said…
MMmm. Golf.
Jenn N. said…
Seriously no snacks? Summer's almost 5 and I'm still packing the pantry. You are so lucky!!!!

I'm so torn about #4.
Mandee said…
I think my kids got used to me forgetting the snacks. Now, all they need is a piece of gum, and paper + crayons. Of course, I'm sure it has everything to do with the fact that we have church at 9am, and they just ate breakfast.
Not sure why all your posts make me cry...
I can't wait to go on a disney cruise...
I have mixed feelings about being done with baby stages too...but right now, it would be nice to start to see a light...pretty sure it's aways off though :)
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