Good Advice

(I've officially given up on caring about the furniture)

You guys are the best. Thank you so much for the book advice, and for sympathizing with me on this raising kids thing. It is by far the hardest job ever- raising little people in this world. I wanted to share some of what has come from this post.

1. My friend, Kim, is hilarious- and I loved her comment;

"If there is a book that promises well behaved kids trust me I have read it and it doesn't work. My best remedies.....girls nights, pedicures, diet coke, and my favorite shows. Everyone says it will get better but seriously have they spent more than 5 minutes with my kids? If I wasn't a member of the church I am pretty sure I would have a serious drinking problem. So I have decided the best thing to do is to put myself in time out until I can behave rationally (or until someone starts bleeding). Good Luck."

I say, even if she had a serious drinking problem, there is still a special place in the best part of heaven for Kim- her kids are ca-razy. See here.

2. Marie suggested Scream Free Parenting, which is the third recommendation I've had for this book, so it's on my list... because believe it or not- I scream at my kids.

3. BFF's little sister Stacie, a student at BYU studying Special Education, has taken some behavioral classes- she gave me some great advice, which I loved and appreciated. And the part that made a big impression on me was this;

"There is no book that you can read to fix your kids, but remember that while trying to change their behavior you also need to change how you react because that may be maintaining their behavior."

4. A few days ago, Stephmodo shared her quote of the day- something her husband passed along to her.

"Your toddler will do what they need to do, and not necessarily what you say. If you're patient, then they will be patient. If you speak gently, then they will be gentle. Whatever you want them to be, you have to start becoming."

-Helen Hunt

5. I am not Helen Hunt's biggest fan, but that quote, along with Stacie's advice has made all of the difference in raising my kids this week.

True story; this week after baseball practice (more on that to come), the (little) boys and I were standing in the kitchen discussing what we should have for dinner. Whiny voices were starting, and I could see the melt down beginning. Thinking back on those recently inspiring quotes, I, in jest and with heavy sarcasm, clasped my hands together and in a very sing song-y, cheesy, I-should-be-on-the-Wiggles voice, said to them "Okay boys, this is what I want you to do. I want you to take off your shoes, put them in the basket, then go wash your hands and your faces, and I will make our dinner!"

Max looked at me dumbfounded, and then a big smile grew across his face. He said to me "when you talk like that, it makes me want to do what you say."

Mom: Seriously?

Max: Yeah.

Mom: Okay then, I'll make you a deal- I will talk like this, but you have to do whatever I ask you to do when I talk in this voice. Okay?"

Max: Okay!

And off they went. Melt down averted.

And after a few days of being the new, nice Mommy, I have seen an overall improvement in my boys. They mostly respond when I ask them the first time. They are nicer to each other. And we have had a string a peaceful days in our home. We go to bed always with the goal to do better tomorrow. And we say that out loud. I am learning that to change my children's behavior, I first need to change mine. Which is difficult, at 34 years old. But not impossible.

Please know that when I share this, there is no soap box. In fact, I feel very vulnerable in admitting to what a crappy mom I am. And I fear a return to those days, which I am sure is inevitable. But this much is true; I am trying, things are better, and maybe Helen Hunt isn't so bad. But mostly, you guys are the best blog friends a girl could ask for!

Thanks again!