Stepmom

Had I known what I was getting myself into, I still would've married him. He's that wonderful, and so are they. But, I would've read more books and started taking Prozac a lot sooner! (Kidding, kind of.)

Parker vs. Stepmom. When we have our issues, it is often when I am enforcing my role as "mom of the house". But when I am just Mandee, things are pretty good. He is such a good boy, and we hear it often from other people (mostly at church, and parents of his friends). I feel like since I am the stepmom, I can agree with their complement. Yes, he is a really good kid. He tries really hard in his school work. He is an awesome soccer player. He is a natural leader among his friends and in his classes at church. Adults love him, girls love him (he's nice to any girl that isn't friends with his sister), and his family thinks he's pretty great too. He can bring me to my highest high of the day- when I hear "love you" before he leaves for a camp-out, "thanks for ironing my shirt", or "bye mom" (it's rare and I think it's because he forgets who he is saying bye too, but I pretend he meant it for me). Aaron often tells me the appreciation will come later in life. I am just glad that I get to be a part of his great, sometimes funny, and often noisy, teenage life.

Maddy. We often get called each others names, and for those people that don't know our story, they think it's "funny" that we would name our daughter "Maddy" when my name is "Mandee". The first time I met her, I caught her staring at me... all night long. She is a funny girl, and a fun girl. And so easy going. If she has ever had an issue with having me as her stepmom, I have never known about it. She rarely has issues with anything, unless it's food. I once put the cheese for nachos in a bowl instead of on the chips themselves, and that sent her into a frenzy. And I won't even begin to talk about green beans. But she has always been a fun "little buddy" who loves to run to the store with me, share shoes, some clothing, and fun jewelry. She is the only "daughter" I will ever have, so I hope she doesn't mind the extra attention she gets from me.

Being a stepmom is the hardest thing I have ever been in my life. It's very, very different from being a "mom". At the beginning, when I was struggling with boundaries and my role in their life, Aaron said I should just feel like I am a babysitter. I am there to make sure they are okay, but I don't have to discipline, or worry about "problems". He meant for that piece of advice to make me feel more at ease. I was offended. And I've come to learn that I am more than a babysitter to my step-kids. (And I hate the word "step", by the way.) I worry about their safety, their health, their grades, their experiences, their happiness, their security, their difficulties, their trials, their disappointments, their talents, their goals, their comfort, their achievements, their wants, their needs- I worry about all of the same things for them that I worry about with the children that I gave birth to. But with Parker and Maddy, I have limits as to how much I can, and should worry about those things with them. I have limits in what I can say to them. I have boundaries all over the place in regard to how I "mother" them. And when I cross the line, it feels awkward in every way. Sometimes, it's a tense awkward. Sometimes it's a nice awkward. But, no matter what the boundaries or limits are, or how they change, I will always love them- unconditionally.